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LGBT Pre-Nups: Mediating Happy Ever After

April 5, 2012

I wonder why so many of us read the “Weddings” page in the New York Times on Sundays?  Always looking for a happy ending, I guess.

Today’s section had a really excellent article, with sound advice for Same-Sex couples that plan to marry.

It was all about Prenuptial Agreements for such couples.  We think mediating such an agreement is a superior idea.

There are many issues that come up, including the fact that same-sex marriages are not recognized federally.

I know many same-sex couples in New York State who have been together many years, and are now able to marry.  The legal planning they have done earlier in their relationships to protect each other could change considerably if they marry.

A couple of my friends, who are thinking of marrying, asked me about the kind of ceremony, and whether they should marry in Dutchess County or in Manhattan, where they also live.  Knowing they’ve been together for several years, I asked them about their Wills, and Estate Planning.  Then, as we got talking, I realized that they would have to revise any legal documents they have executed. I managed to broach the subject of possible dissolution of their marriage in the future. (They are good friends!)

At first reluctant to even think about such an event, they soon realized that having a frank discussion of all those legal issues prior to the wedding would relieve them both of most concerns in the future.

The absolute best way to do that pre-planning, and prenuptial discussions and agreement is by Mediation. Why? Because mediation is calm, balanced and non-adversarial. When tension is not part of the equation, constructive decision-making takes place.

The article mentions a book that looks really on point for any pre-nuptial planning.  It’s called “Making It Legal: A Guide to Same-Sex Marriage, Domestic Partnership & Civil Unions,” by Frederick Hertz, an Oakland, California lawyer.

Frederick Hertz is a blogger on Huffington Post, and his book is available as an eBook for $17.99, or as a print book for under $30.00.  Don’t know him, but the topic is very current, and Mediation is a most amicable way to proceed when considering a prenup.

Take a look at the article, and remember: happy endings begin with a mediated prenup.

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